Tuesday, February 26, 2019

Bachelor Colton Eps 7 + 8: I'm A Slacker


My goodness I am LATE LATE LAAATE on my recap from last week's episode, much less this week's episode!

I have been drowning at work and super overwhelmed, so let's get up to speed but I gotta warn you, I'm not going too deep.  Stuff is bonkers lately!

OK so in the episode last week, Now Been Kissed Heather sent herself home on the back of a train, like some sort of kissing politician blowing through town on a whistle stop tour of America.  Kirpa was sent home but I know nothing of the circumstances because I had to run to a show in UCB's newest theater, which is practically in the Hudson River.  And finally, Alabama Hannah was sent home by Colton mere hours after HE INTRODUCED HER TO HIS GODDAM FAMILY.  Talk about a bait and switch for poor Hannah.  Nobody deserves such mistreatment--that was brutal.  But I LOVE that she departed with her head held high, saying, I will want for a man who will choose me every day.  Damn straight, girl.

Last night I went to Cowgirl Seahorse to watch a friend's amazing bluegrass/Americana band so I didn't really watch the episode BUT, by the grace of God, Cowgirl Seahorse was playing The Bachelor by the bar with subtitles on! 

So I was able to see that Tayshia's father was NOT feeling Colton, Cassie's mother looks more like a big sister (bless), and Caelynn was sent home just before Fantasy Suites.

OK, just me, or did Caelynn and her sister BOTH appear to have pink eye or something? I don't think it was actual pink eye, but rather that their eyes looked strange from wearing SUPER HUGE eyelashes and wildly unflattering PINK eyeshadow (literally pink eyeshadow is the devil's handiwork).  Welp, those eyes were sent home crying.

Next week we have back-to-back Bach with Fantasy Suites on Monday and the Women Tell All on Tuesday.  Is that what it said?  I was wrapping up at the bar, but that was what I think I saw.

Sorry I'm slacking, but how are YOU all feeling about this season?  Now that we're down to Cassie, Hannah, and Tayshia, who are you into??

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