For the last decade I have been a publishing drone by day
(Editorial Assistant to start, then steps up the ladder over the years to my
current job as a Managing Editor) and Standup Comedian and Storyteller by night
(I can sleep when I’m dead!). Two years
ago, I added Author to my resume when my collection of humorous essays, The New Rules for Blondes, was published
by It Books/HarperCollins. After the
release of my book, a lot of storytellers and standups asked if they could take
me out for drinks and ply me with free alcohol while asking me questions about
how to get a book published. In honor of
the second anniversary of my book’s publication date (it’s not too late to buy a copy!), I’m sharing my knowledge, tips, tricks, and advice--and you don’t
even have to buy me a drink!
Where Do You Begin?
There are two ways to sell a book: you can write the whole
shebang and try to shop that around or you can create a proposal that explains
what your book will be (once you write it).
Both pathways will eventually require a proposal, so you’d be wise to
start with that. A book proposal is usually 50-70 pages and it’s a
comprehensive outline of your book and a roadmap for how the publisher can
market your work. It includes a lengthy
bio about you, the writer, and why you are America’s most important, charming,
and hilarious new voice. It should include many things: comparative
analysis—short synopses of similar books in the marketplace, a few sample
chapters of your book, an annotated Table of Contents where you summarize each
chapter, a list of every way that you will whore out your book to myriad media
contacts that you have met or had lunch near or crossed paths with (get shameless
in this section, seriously). Just Google
“book proposal template” and you can see all of the exact sections of the
proposal.
But That Sounds Like
a Drag To Write—Any Other Tips?
Yes, writing a proposal isn’t the most enjoyable part of
writing a book. I cranked out 3 versions
of my book proposal over the course of about a year before my agent and I felt
that we had a polished enough proposal to send along to HarperCollins. So let’s take a step back and let me implore
you to…
Write What You Know
and Love (and Possibly What You Can Bang out 65,000 Words About)
I got my book deal because I am obsessed with, repulsed by,
and shamefully addicted to The Bachelor
franchise and for many years I have been writing ridiculous, pop culture
anecdote-filled recaps of the show on my blog (right here!).
I didn’t start writing those recaps in order to get a book deal—I
started because I love sharing my thoughts on competitive dating with the
reality TV viewing public. To completely
debase a legendary quotation and make it about my Bachelor recaps, this bird has got to sing because I have a
song! And that song is about how many
Ashleys can coexist inside a mansion (no more than 2 at a time). What I’m saying is, write what you enjoy
writing and that enthusiasm just might catch the eye of an agent or an editor
who likes your voice and style and wants to talk to you. To that end, figure
out your preferred writing style, voice, subject matter, and where your
creative strengths lie. Are you a
storyteller and most of your stories have a recurring theme? Are you a standup
comedian with a really interesting take on X topic and think that you have a
hook for an essay collection? Is there a topic that’s currently hot in the
zeitgeist that you have a unique angle on or experience with? Those are all good places to start when
dreaming up what your book might be.
(The topic that’s hot in the zeitgeist will be especially useful when
trying to get press for your book because you can easily make it relevant to
future news stories, though beware of making your book proposal too topical, as
book publishing moves slowly and you want your book concept to be somewhat
evergreen so that it can sell for years to come.)
Don’t Send Book
Pitches to Editors or Publishers, Send Them to Agents
When I was a Children’s Editor (despite my title, I didn’t
edit children, I edited their books) I’d often receive blind book pitches by writers
from all over the country (though, for whatever reason, from Florida more than
anywhere else). Part of my job (in
addition to Americanizing a killer book called No No No Little Turtles—a classic!) was to return those blind
pitches to sender along with a friendly letter saying “no thanks” but I always
wished I could also say, “don’t pitch an editor, pitch an agent!” I’m sure that
someone in the comments will gleefully share the anecdote that JK Rowling used
to send manuscripts to editors at publishing houses and SHE got a book deal,
but you will be seen as a contender and taken more seriously if you have an
agent representing you. Agents have
relationships with editors and they know which editor at which imprint would be
interested in your book. (NB: “Imprint” is publishing talk that means a
publishing company within a bigger publishing house. An imprint will have a
unique style or theme—within a huge publishing house there might be an imprint that
specializes in romance novels and another imprint that publishes humor books,
and another for young adult, and so on.) These days, editors generally don’t
accept blind submissions but agents generally do—the industry is set up for
writers to have an agent first and then find an editor. Thinking that you can get a book deal by
blindly sending your manuscript to publishing houses is like thinking that you
can get cast on Saturday Night Live by blindingly sending a tape of your comedy
to 30 Rockefeller Center. That’s not how
it works—there are gatekeepers and they have relationships with other gatekeepers.
(Some of this stuff is a tough pill to swallow, but I’m trying to be completely
honest with you, dear reader.)
But can’t I make up a
name an act as my own agent? a smart alec may be wondering. Sure, I suppose that you can, but again, you
don’t have the relationships with editors so concoting a giant ruse in which
you are your own agent won’t get you very far. What WILL get you pretty far is
doing some research and it’s as easy as Googling a bunch of key term
combinations. Most agencies have websites on which they clearly express if they
are accepting manuscripts and exactly how they’d like those manuscripts
delivered. Each agent within an agency
will have his or her own section of the site where that agent will say exactly
what type of work he or she will represent.
Also, do some research inside books that you like. Do you read a lot of young adult zombie books
and have a great idea for a YA zombie book? Look in the Acknowledgements page
of that book that you love so much—I bet the agent is listed there. Then Google the name of that person and
before you know it, you’re on the agency’s website learning exactly how they
accept pitches.
But Also Don’t Worry
Too Much About the Agent Dance
Don’t you hate it when someone gives you advice and then, in
the same breath, completely contradicts herself? I’m sorry!
Yes, getting an agent is important (especially an agent who understands
your style and voice), but simply doing the work is more important. As I
mentioned earlier, I implore you to simply write and perform what you enjoy
creating and that enthusiasm just might catch the eye of an agent or an
editor.
So You Got an Agent
and Got a Book Deal—What Now?
Once your agent successfully sells your book to a publisher,
you will be given around 8 months to crank out the full manuscript. The final product depends on the type of
manuscript and I’m most familiar with my book, which came in at about 65,000
words. I cranked out 65,000 words (in
the form of a bunch of humorous essays about all things blonde) while working
40 hours a week and performing standup and storytelling most nights. I’m not going to pull a Fit Mom and get
righteous with you by asking “what’s your excuse?” while I pose in a sports bra
(it’s been a long winter with not much gym time), but I will say this: You can
do it. Yes, you, reading this essay—you can crank it out if you want to. It’s just a matter of writing during every
free moment of your life and setting boundaries. Every weekend of those 8 months that I was
given, I isolated myself in my apartment and just cranked on my laptop. If I
hit a wall, I’d go for a walk or a run and marinate on the essay that I was
working on and then I’d go right back to my computer. I would jot down notes, ideas, and
brainstorms during subway rides and during my regular job. Many times I would print out full deck (a
full copy of the book) in process and take it to a bar to have some drinks
while doing my own punch ups and reading it hard copy. I turned in my manuscript and then chilled
for a few months. During that time my
wonderful Editor read the whole thing and sent me back thoughts, edits, and
notes. Then I did rewrites over the
course of about 4-6 weeks and I threw out entire chapters and created new
ones. My Editor and I had some back and
forth as we got closer to finalizing the manuscript and then the brilliant
legal team and copyeditor did their passes.
Soon I had galleys (also known as ARCs, Advanced Reading Copies) and I
sent out copies to famous friends and acquaintances and pleaded with them to
please blurb my book (that is, write a blurb about how hilarious and important
it is). Advanced copies were also sent
to magazines and websites and anyone who might be interested in my book.
Look at these galleys of my book! |
Why Would Anyone Be
Interested In Your Book?
That’s a question for the ages! If there’s one thing I
learned, it’s that the onus is on YOU and your publicist (either the one who is
on staff at your publisher or one who you personally hire) to make your book
accessible and important to the media.
Don’t just send out a galley with a form cover letter—do the work for
the person you are pitching so that his or her job is now done. Write a special cover letter about how X
issue is relevant right now and you address said issue with eloquence and
imagination on pages 134-141 of your upcoming book (even pull out that text so
that the magazine editor doesn’t even need to flip through your book). People love it when you make life easy for
them, so take them by the hand and show them how they can use your book in
their magazine or website.
Have a Big, Memorable
Book Launch
Me at my book launch. Photo by the brilliant Anya Garrett. |
Hosting a soiree to fete your book (and yourself) is a great
way to get more press for your book, if for nothing else but the event listing
in your local newspapers and magazines.
If you can swing it, offer open bar or free gifts or giveaways. A book launch party is like “Field of
Dreams”: if you give it (away for free), they will come. Read an excerpt from the book, thank everyone
who helped you, sign a bunch of copies of the book, play some music, and have
fun! Don’t forget to encourage everyone
there to take photos and splash the event all over social media. Oh, and maybe do a cute tie-in to the book in
the form of a drink or snack or gift. At
my book launch, my mother went around handing out homemade blondies to everyone
in attendance.
Take the Show on the Road
See if your publisher would be willing to send you to a few
cities or events—Book Expo America or the American Librarian’s Association
Conference or a few bookstores in your hometown. One word of caution about bookstore events:
it can be hard to get people out for those, I found. But perhaps my situation was unique in that I
was trying to drum up excitement about a fun, summery essay collection while in
my hometown of Boston mere days after the Boston Marathon bombing. There are
many variables that you can’t control and if nothing else, perhaps you’ll get a
good story out of a bad experience (in my case, being heckled by a drunk,
homeless woman as I attempted to do a reading from my book in the Harvard Coop
bookstore. Listen for that tale on a
storytelling show soon.)
Expect The
Unexpected, Roll with the Punches, Be Grateful
You’re going to put a lot of work into your book and there
are no guarantees about how much press you will get, how many copies you will
sell, or how much anyone will care about your baby. Be respectful and grateful to your agent and
editor and cover designer and copyeditor and everyone involved—they’re all
pulling together for YOUR book and it’s pretty magical. Trust that your editor knows the marketplace
and has good advice for you. Be proud of
what you have written, no matter the outcome.
It’s Just One More
Notch On Your Proverbial Bedpost
The months leading up to my book release were terrifying to
me. With each day, the big pub date got
closer (4/23/13!) and I always felt like I wasn’t doing enough, wasn’t pushing
enough, wasn’t connecting enough with media contacts. Being pushy with strangers gives me agita and
shameless self-promotion is anathema to me, but in those trying months I was
given some calming advice by a fellow comedian/author in a comedy club green
room. He told me, “it won’t change your
life, but it’s another thing that you have on your resume.” And he was right. Being a published author didn’t change my
life, but it gave me something that I can sell after shows, it’s an opportunity that
I am honored to have been given, and my book is a piece of work that I’m
fiercely proud of.
[Final Plug: If you want to be a sweet angel, you can buy my book here.]
[Final Plug: If you want to be a sweet angel, you can buy my book here.]