Monday, August 16, 2010

Crappy Jobs I've Had

Here's an entry from the 'ole blog archives.

It's summertime, and that makes me think back on all of the terrible summer jobs I had growing up. And terrible fall/winter/spring jobs, too. Let's take a walk down "Crappy Job Lane".

Bruegger's Bagel Bakery- I worked here in high school for a couple years. Those were some early Saturday mornings- especially when I had to walk to work in my fake Birkenstocks. Those shoes were horrific. I'm surprised that I'm even admitting that I owned a pair. Anyhoo- I actually sorta liked working there. The other kids were really nice & we were all such screw-ups it was hilarious. But dealing with cream cheese in LARGE quantities (buckets larger than paint buckets, filled with cream cheese) turned me off of cream cheese for a looong time. And I still won't eat Roast Beef after spending a few too many hours in the prep area separating portions of bloody, grody, roast beef. Oh and here's a doozy- for a long time Bruegger's Bagels had a NO TOASTING policy. No toasting at a bagel place!?!? Yeah- for about my first year there they had a serious no-toasting policy, insisting that people should eat fresh bagels that are still hot from the oven. That's all well & good, but what about the customer who comes in at 5pm and Juan hasn't cooked up a new batch of bagels in about 3 hours, so they want their rock-solid bagel toasted, huh? What about THEM!?

The Gap- Moving on up! From bloody, roast beef sandwiches to t-shirts & matching socks in section 1! Yes yes I worked at the Gap during my later years in H.S. and college breaks. My buddy Rob worked there, too, so that was rad- and most of the other employees were pretty cool. This one guy totally pulled a fast one on the Gap & hooked up all his high school "friends" with free clothes. He got busted during my time there- pretty funny stuff. One time I was in charge of the "scents" area, so I moved some of the soaps & bottles around a bit. The manager absolutely FREAKED on me. This is what I hate about Retail Manager people (and yeah, I'm making a blanket generalization, so get under it if you wanna stay warm): they take their pathetic retail jobs SOO seriously. This woman literally REAMED me out (in public) for changing the setup of the Scents area. She was like, "What are you thinking? Are you a display coordinator? No, you aren't." I wish I had quit mid-shift that day- but I saved my "the time I walked out on a job mid-shift" instead for Crate & Barrel in Chicago. You'll read about that one soon enough, kiddos.

The Town Pool- Yes, I languished in a shanty for an entire summer (the summer after freshman year in college, no less) peddling high-caloric treats to fat children at the town pool. Again, the co-workers were great, but the boom box set at KISS 108 all summer nearly drove me insane. That was the summer of Santana's "Smooth" and that crappy "All Star" song. Those were apparently the only 2 albums that KISS 108 owned that summer because we used to tally how many times per day we heard each. About 6, on average. I got some great stories out of that one, though. One time a kid crapped in the pool & his awkward British dad (or manny?) came over to the shanty and informed us of this e coli scare by saying, "There's a nugget in the pool." On a daily basis, swimmers would remark on how much it must suck for me to be trapped in a shanty all day. "Yup assholes- sure does. Enjoy your swim!" Another frequent occurrence was when a kid would buy a popsicle, walk away, and 2 feet away from the snack shanty he drop it, then come back to the window wanting another one for free. Umm- am I to blame for the fact that you are a Butterfinger?

No comments:

Post a Comment