Wednesday, August 31, 2011

NY Times article

Just read an interesting article on It's called Are You as Fertile As You Look?

Interesting piece about how in American culture, so many women work so hard to preserve their youth (looks-wise), but are forgetting that the biological clock keeps on ticking, even if you have great abs and full hair at 40.

Baby and fertility stuff is such a minefield and can make so many conversations unintentionally uncomfortable. I have friends who have dealt with infertility and difficulty on that front, and it's heartbreaking. You just want your loved ones to have whatever they want out of this life, and to not be grilled about it by strangers or clueless relatives.

I've found that most people simply assume that every young woman wants to get married and have babies. If your life plan differs from that two-step at all, brace yourself for dirty looks and comments like, "Who doesn't like BABIES?" (And assumptions that you must be a selfish and terrible person who pretends to be friendly, but actually burns onesies by moonlight.)

On stage, I sometimes joke that I've always never wanted children, but it's true. I've never imagined having kids. I've never had an impulse or instinct to be a caretaker to babies. I babysat a bit in high school and was a camp counselor one summer, but never really loved either job. Raising babies isn't everyone's cup of tea, and I wish that more people (usually strangers) would be a bit more mindful of that. Why is it that everyone can understand that, for example, some people like the music of Motley Crue, and others don't. Others HATE that music, in fact. Why not the same with kids?

I want what I want out of MY life and you want what you want out of YOUR life, and those things might be completely opposite, and that's OK. As my lovely co-worker Calvin says (in a hilarious voice, while he does the 'ole weave pat), "Do you."

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