Pussycats, if you know anything about me, you know that I have an intense love/hate relationship with ABC’s “The Bachelor” and “The Bachelorette” (and that I love almond paste, but who’s keeping track of my likes and dislikes, huh, stalkers?) Well, the genius network minds behind our beloved franchise have changed up the format FOR ONCE and next Monday they will be rolling out a new TV phenomenon, the likes of which have only been seen on the Road Rules vs. Real World Challenge. Yes, lovers, rejects from past seasons of “The Bachelor” and “The Bachelorette” were picked to live in a house… (I bet you think I’m going to do the “Real World” opening credits, don’t you? SURPRISE! No dice, jerkwad) and compete for money, while inevitably engaging in Tom Foolery, hooliganism, and hookups. Heyo!
On Monday August 9th it kicks off and you can bet MONEY that I will be watching (unless I go watch my friend Heidi perform with the BTK band in the East Village, which is a definite possibility—so I might watch it on DVR, EITHER WAY! Gosh, could I catch a break from your judgmental eyes, imagined reader?)
I just went to the “Bachelor Pad” website (pathetic, I know) and some of our favorite losers are back. Gia, the “On The Wings of Love” reject who is rumored to be an escort; Wes, the Austin-based musician who made it through Jillian’s run on the Bachelor while keeping a girlfriend at home; Juan, the Jillian season reject total puss puss who is probably less masculine than I am; Cuddlebug Tenley from Jake’s season of The Bach; Crazypants Michelle from Jake’s bachelor season; and a few others. The most important member of the bachelor pad? HOT PSYCHO IS BACK! Yes, readers, crazy eyes hottie with a crazy temper, David, will be wowing us again with his lessons in “Man Code.” It’s going to be a great season! I’ll be recapping, so check back here regularly!