Happy Friday. Ya know what’s just a few days away? Another wondrous episode of “Bachelor Pad” featuring (thankfully) more shots of Hot Psycho David’s abs than usual. Thank you, ABC.
In a shameless cross-promotional move, the Bachelor Pad is ending in a thrilling dance-off. Smells a lot like "Dancing With The Stars" huh? Also, like that weird contest in “Grease” when that random floozy-looking lady showed up to give Sandy a run for her money. And much like the video for “Beat It” which I, as a young child with a bowl cut living in Needham, MA, honestly believed was how real Los Angeles gangs settled problems. I was young and my two older sisters insisted that “Beat It” featured all REAL gang members in the video. Because that makes sense. Sure. You wouldn’t take dancers and dress them up as gang members. No way! You take REAL gang members (from opposing gangs) and try to teach them how to dance AND how to get along on-set. Totally logical.
But I digress. This week, the six remaining players in the Bachelor Pad (fake couple David & Natalie; sickly sweet couple Kiptyn & Tenley; Fatal Attraction couple Kovacs & Elizabeth) pull a “Dirty Dancing” (Sweaty dance rehearsals! This is your dance space, this is my dance space! Spaghetti Arms!) and train for a dance contest that will determine which couple is eliminated. At least I think that’s how it’s going to work. I was too distracted by the vision of the Hot Psycho in head-to-toe spandex to process exactly what rules are for this next episode. All I know is that Tenley’s psyched (remember when she danced for Jake back in the days of “The Bachelor: On The Wings Of Love”?) and I have a feeling that Elizabeth’s implants will get in the way of her dancing. For real.
We’ll find out on Monday!
In the meantime, I’m in a show at 9pm tonight at the Village Lantern. Come on by! It’s free... I think. Whatever! Just live your life, wouldja? Stop kvetching to me about your finances! I’m not the boss of you!